Coffee effect + the eye glasses

It’s been a long time since I haven’t written anything for my blog. I just missed writing and reading books of course Dan Brown’s books are the best. Here I am, got something on my mind a lot of things actually, that I want to inscribe just to express what I feel inside. Let’s start but I think something’s missing…ohh yeah a cup of black coffee and my eye glasses.

People who are close to me and to my partner knew about our “family problem”. My mom hates my boyfriend for almost a year and to tell you honestly it’s so tough to keep a relationship secret especially to your parents. When my mom knew that we were still together she burst out in anger, she was so mad and I was just there in the corner of my room weeping and explaining things to her. My knees were trembling and my eyes were jam-packed of tears.

Klent came over right away, he and my mom had a solemn conversation they both agreed in a bunch of things. I remember my mom said this lines to him “you should treasure my daughter she is the precious gift God had given to me, a priceless gift...She might be 22 years of age now but I still look at her as if she was a kid. I don’t want a bigwig to step on her, most of all I don’t want to hear your family messing up with my daughter or saying ghastly things about her because If I do you’ll never goanna see a glimpse of her again…mark my words. I know she is a strong girl she never cries when somebody tries to struggle her or saying off-putting things about her more than ever when somebody misjudge her. I raised her to be tough, never be scared of anyone except God her heart will turn as rigid as stone when someone strikes on her and she say what she feels without a doubt. She is unbreakable I’ve raised her that way because I don’t want a feeble daughter but behind her attitude lies a kind heart for the poor, the people in need, friends who never leave her side and a family who has been good to her. I’m so proud of her my beautiful and smart princess she acquired her father’s intellect and my strong persona.”

I noticed after she said those lines tears were running down her cheeks, its impossible my mom cried! After all the weeping thank God everything went out very well but one problem is yet unfixing Klent’s family. I know they don’t like me because of my attitude but this is who I am; I won’t pretend to be somebody else just for them to be fond of me that’s absolutely a dim-witted thing to do. They disgust me because of the way I talked? Who cares? As long as I’m not lying then I do believe I haven’t done anything erroneous. You can call me “uncivilized” or whatever stuff they want to entitle me it won’t matter. If being true to yourself makes you “uncivilized” in their perspective then let it be.

I know who I am & I won’t change just to please a couple of people.

Lesson:

Never explain yourself to anyone because the person who likes you doesn't need it, and the person who dislikes you won't believe it.

Still bleeding

I not at all thought life would be difficult without him. Six months had passed now and I felt like I’m all alone by myself in a corner of a dark room, cold and gloomy. My life just twisted upside down for the past months up until now. I do laugh out loud with my buddies and hang out with them but it’s him who occupies my mind and my heart. When I’m home all I can perceive are the things he gave me back when we were still together and it just crumpled my heart knowing I can never have him back.
Memories came flushing in, the times when we both giggle, when were heartbreaking and most of all the times when we cried. Every night I’m dreaming of him and day by day I’m longing for him. His similar to a scar in my life can never be erased. I heard he has a new girl and I just wonder if his all right without me? Did he ever think of me? Does my name cross his mind? Did he eat his launch? Had he got back home? Do his eyes still hurt? Does his new girlfriend take good care of him? Does her girlfriend knows he can’t eat too much of spicy foods? Did he ever try to check my Facebook account? Is he going to tie the knot with that girl?
Tears came flushing in every time these questions crossed my mind. I may not be able to make out the answers to these questions but all I wish is for him to be happy. Yes, it’s obvious that I still love him until now and I’m hurting knowing that someone had taken over my place in his life but I know I got to deal with it that’s life; we can never have everything we want. People keeps telling me that I need to move on with my life that I should not be stuck in my past but how can I move on?
Perhaps the only time that I’ll move on is when his status is “Married”. I’d put my hands up then surrender and I’d raise my white flag if that day comes but for now I will grasp on. Holding on at this moment I felt like I’m holding a broken glass, it’s aching and it’s bleeding.



Love,
Vivien

Best thing I never had

What goes around comes back around!

There was a time I thought, that you did everything right. No lies, no wrong, boy I, must have been out off my mind so when I think of the time that I almost loved you, you showed your ass and I saw the real you.

So sad, you're hurt, boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care? you don't deserve my tears
I guess that's why they ain't there. When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you, you showed your ass and I saw the real you.

Thank God you blew it and thank God I dodged the bullet. I'm so over you so baby good looking out.

I wanted you bad I'm so through with it because honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had & I'm gonna always be the best thing you never had. I bet it sucks to be you right now.

Almost

Can you tell me. How can one miss what she's never had?
How could I reminisce when there is no past?
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy?
Could someone tell me how can this be?
How could my mind pull up incidents? Recall dates and times that never happened.
How could we celebrate a love that's to late? & how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say.

I missed the times that we almost shared. I miss the love that was almost there.
I miss the times that we use to kiss.
At least in my dreams just let me take my time and reminisce.
I miss the times that we never had.
What happened to us? we were almost there.
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had, never almost had you.

I cannot believe I let you go or what I should say I should've grabbed you up and never let you go.
I should've went out with you. I should've made you my boo boy.
Yes that's one time I should've broke the rules. I should've went on a date.
Should've found a way to escape. Should've turned almost into.
If it happened now its to late.
How could I celebrate a love that wasn't real? & if it didn't happen why does my heart feel?

I missed the times that we almost shared. I miss the love that was almost there.
I miss the times that we use to kiss.
At least in my dreams just let me take my time and reminisce.
I miss the times that we never had.
What happened to us? we were almost there.
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had, never almost had you.

Sometimes I wanna rub you, some nights I wanna hug you & you seem to be the perfect one for me.
You're all that I ever wanted & you're my everything yes its true.
Boy its hard to be close to you.
My love, I know it may sound crazy but I'm in love with you

I missed the times that we almost shared. I miss the love that was almost there.
I miss the times that we use to kiss.
At least in my dreams just let me take my time and reminisce.
I miss the times that we never had.
What happened to us? we were almost there.
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had, never almost had you.

Don't forget

Did you forget that I was even alive?
Did you forget everything we ever had?
Did you forget? Did you forget about me?

Did you regret ever standing by my side?
Did you forget what we were feeling inside?
Now I'm left to forget about us.

But somewhere we went wrong, we were once so strong.
Our love is like a song, you can't forget it.

So now I guess this is where we have to stand.
Did you regret ever holding my hand?
Never again, please don't forget...don't forget.

We had it all, we were just about to fall.
Even more in love than we were before.
I won't forget.
I won't forget about us.

But somewhere we went wrong, we were once so strong.
Our love is like a song you can't forget it at all.

And at last all the pictures have been burned.
And all the past is just a lesson that we've learned.
I won't forget.
I won't forget us.

But somewhere we went wrong, our love is like a song.
But you won't sing along you've forgotten about us.

How to find your Prince?

by:
Vivien Joy Flores Velasco


It isn't simple. The old saying is true; you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Hopefully, of course, you stumble on what frogs they are before you start kissing too many of them.
Each one of us is looking for their shining consort, the Prince Charming with whom to spend their happily ever after but so few people know what to look for in a partner that they end up completely disenchanted and broken hearted in the end. Happiness in marriage becomes a myth that no one really expects to achieve, but it is within reach. It is very likely to find your soul's mate and enjoy a lifelong romance with him. You just have to be acquainted with some essential truths about love, and about yourself, before you begin.
The first thing you must know is that the only way you'll ever be happy with someone, for more than a couple of weeks, is if you both share the same core values. If you know that your partner sees life the way you do, if you know that their real, unshakable beliefs are well-matched with your own, and if you know they are committed to keeping their values throughout their life and won't up and change overnight into someone you don't know, there's a very good chance your story will last a lifetime, in spite of of the ups and downs, or minor conflicts of opinion that will unavoidably happen.
If there is a "safe" person to lay down your heart to, if there is anything close to a guarantee in love, it must be with someone who you not only know, but are capable of knowing, closely, because they have been open and honest with you about themselves, and show they have every intention of being so in the future.
There are many relationship chameleons out there, people who will be different things to different lovers and have no true convictions or beliefs of their own. There are many people who will change their beliefs to please their partner, with no ever questioning whether integrity might be a value far more valuable than falsely going along with someone to keep a relationship going. These are the people you should be careful about giving your heart to, because they're likely to let their pretenses fall once they've worn-out of playing at being something they're not.
But how do you stumble on a good partner? Don't we all believe we've fallen for Mr. Wonderful only to find him prancing around in our underwear one day when we come home? No, not all of us. Some of us fall for Mr. Wonderful and marry him, because we found out even before we meet him the ideals and attributes we must have in a mate therefore we get what we deserve.
Aside from interior beliefs like wisdom, honesty, truthfulness, and the willingness to think, for example, I maintain that there are some purpose values by which a person can be judged some criteria that good people meet and bad risks fail at when it comes to marriage. People can change, of course, but I don't believe that the some of the values change easily, or without serious soul-searching and hard work.

“Here I go again”

By
Vivien Joy Flores Velasco


It's been a while since I was single-handedly back when the door of my heart was not yet open to anyone. I cherished the single life back before when I and my previous boyfriend broke up. Friends were asking me "hey...want to stay single, alone and loveless for the rest of your life?" I told them if being single makes me blissful then I’ll go for it. It’s better to be alone happy than to be with someone miserable.

Being in love is not easy, it’s not all the time about the "I love you"...”I love you too"..."I miss you"..."I miss you too" nor not about the kiss, hug or making love to the one you love. There’s something more about being in a relationship, you by no means find yourself forever smiling sometimes it’s more about the crying stuff. A well-built relationship needs to be composed of not just the love, trust is also significant, honesty, faithfulness, sacrifice, letting go of your pride and most of all patience.

I find it very tough to be in a relationship again after the previous three affairs I had back before. I promised myself to stay alone, no man no cry as what "Bob Marley" believed. A few of the guys I have met asked me for my digit, my address and asked me to go out for a date. I actually don’t want to upset them but what’s the use of going out for a date when my mind and my heart tells me "I don't want to" so it's better to tell them early on that I don’t want to amuse any suitors.

They asked me "Why?" my respond was just simple "I don’t want to be hurt once more". Few months passed I felt that It was never a hindrance to be happy if your single. I loved my life with my family and true friends but then I met this chap. I never noticed him nor glimpse at him nor bother to ask his name. Why should I? When I'm his mentor and his just my trainee. No one had ever caught my eye after I broke up with my previous boyfriend not even him.

Days and weeks had passed unexpectedly after shift I was so in a rush to go home and I saw my trainees outside, some of them asked for my digit so as he. That was the moment in time he sent me a message and then I sent him back a message also asking for his name. That was the start of our "closeness" I think so. He even asked me for one of my associate’s digit so I gave it to him just to satisfy his needs.

One instance I opened my facebook account and check for "Friend Request" one of the request came from him so I just confirmed his request. One time when I was online when he chat me. We’ve got a time-consuming conversation that was the point when he tackled regarding his love life his three years relationship with his girl. The grounds for their break up, the name of his girl and a lot more. I really don’t give a damn about it but I pity him for the reason that I was once also have experienced being in that situation back before and damn that was truly hurting so painful that you desire to blame yourself for being so STUPID.

I gave my opinions and advices about their condition. I commit to memory one of the advices I told him was this one: "If you really love her then beg her to come back to you, prove her how much you love her and that you can’t be in this world without her in your life than just take the weight off your feet and hang around for nothing, you should make the move no matter what her decision might be it doesn’t matter as long as you have done your part than to be sorry in the end that she walked away without you providing her the reasons to let her stay.”

I if truth be told I don’t know what happened to them after but all I’ve heard is that it’s was all over, possibly. Time passed by and I was just surprise when he told me his feelings about me. What was running in my mind was "What the fuck? Are you so certain dudes don’t make a fool out of me?" I even told him I don’t want to be in a relationship but I truly don’t know what happened; he was so nice to me perhaps because I'm his mentor so he should be good.

One night I was with one of my best friend then he sent me a message asking if he can drop me home I was still thinking then I replied "sure”. Maybe that was the start of the thing they so called "getting to know each other”. Days and weeks passed by I find me dating with this chap.

Going out with him to one of my favorite hangout place, walking and eating I felt so at ease to be with him and glad even if I don’t knew him that much. I was staring blankly then I asked myself "Am I in love? Do I love him?" there was this weirdest emotion I’ve got. I remember this feeling back before I felt this kind of chill back to those three men I’ve loved, so was it really love then?

All of a sudden I asked myself again I know I'm in love, with this sort of thrill I’ve felt it was like I’m on a far above the ground after taking an abusive drug. It was like heroin running throughout my veins and damn this isn’t any good because I know I’ll end up weeping in the corner all over again soon. Trying to control my emotions when we are together and when he holds my hand, however I just can’t. There was an instance when I felt I’ve lost him or maybe he was the one lost I blame myself because I did let him wait for a long time but then half of my wits tells me it would be best if he will be mislaid forever so that there will never be a chance for me to be upset for a second time around but then he came back, after that I was so confused that I don’t know what to do and what to say to him and how to tell him to stop loving me but I did not make it.

I was not clever enough to tell him to stop loving me especially if I stare into his eyes. After going out with him again that was the 28th of March 12:07 in the crack of dawn he asked me if I can be his girl. Then swiftly my answer to that question was a straightforward "YES" and that was the start of our love story. Friends and companions gave me their opinions, reactions and advices.

They said they were so content seeing me so happy in love again but one of my best friends asked me this questions "Are you certain about this? I don’t want to see you crying and most of all I don’t want somebody to hurt you again but what if he in actual fact he doesn’t love you? What if he still loves his previous girlfriend? What if he is just using you to let somebody see that he had move on already? What if his presently pretending he loves you for the reason that he needed you badly in the first place?”

My heart was pounding so fast that I can’t even speak. Why was I not clever enough to ask myself those questions? Am I being stupid again? I desire to believe in all the words he says that he loves me so greatly, that he miss me and that his so fortunate to have me. I just want to go on loving him to prove him that I really do love him and if I say I miss him I in fact mean it I don't think about what people might say I just would like to continue believing him that he truly do loves me.

If ever one day that he will break my heart, then I know for certain that there’s no reason for me to blame myself nor asked "Why?" and let know my friends that "I should have listen to you guys", I know I have done my piece in loving him it’s just that he can’t love me back the way I did. It also came across my mind that "What if his previous girlfriend might come back and beg him to come back to her? What will I do if that day comes?"

Simple, if I can see that the girl in actual fact loves him and is craving for him to come back to her life and if I as well notice that he still loves that girl then I’ll let him go it’s actually better if I will be the only one to get hurt than to see both of them hurting. They say if you truly love somebody so greatly and if that someone's glee is for you to let him go then do it. The only thing should matter is his own happiness not my personal happiness.

True love means when in your relationship God is the center, when both of you loves each other so greatly, when both of you trust each other, share smiles with each other, when both of you knows how to forgive and forget each other’s fault and for the most part of all when you accepted the one you love for what he or she is and when the one you love accepted you for what you truly are. Let’s just try to amend “Spiderman’s” belief “With great love comes great responsibility”.

When you love, love one not two, love the one you love beyond doubt with all your heart and soul, accept his weak point, adore his greatness and by no means never let a day bypass without you reminding the one you love how greatly you love him or her. Grasp the hand of the one you love as if you don’t want to let go and hug the one you love so stiff that it seems there’s no tomorrow. Challenges and trails may arrive, together you ought to be strong and together overcome those challenges, bear in mind, love is not just on the subject of one person only its composed of two as what “Cassie” says “It’s me and you..It’s just as two… just me and you.” They say "Love is a noble act of self-giving, offering trust, faith, and loyalty. The more you love, the more you lose a part of yourself, yet you don't become less of who you are; you end up being complete with your loved ones."

Last of all, but not surely the least learn by heart this quote “To love is noting, to be loved is something, to love and be loved is everything."